Staff Page

Koby Stewart

Koby is a Kellogg Community College graduate. He pursued music as a child, but only went viral once. After giving up on his dreams as a singer, he joined our team.

While most of Koby's work never actually gets published into the newspaper, we keep him on staff, because of his timeless jokes from The Office. He is very arrogant, but is always quick to apologize when he knows that he is being an idiot. His endless runs to get pizza for the real staff of the office is very appreciated and we look forward to having him around forever.

Merna Yaldo

Merna is an amazing person. Despite his obvious lack of education, Merna is a pretty good worker. Even if he wasn't, we'd have to keep him around because of his mad chili cooking skills.

His lack of physical fitness and dull intelligence is made up for in the long run by his character.

Kelani Phillip

Kelani is the life of the office. His charm and his infinite set of skills add something to our team that cannot be found anywhere else. Without Kelani, our office would just be boring. His goal of becoming branch manager someday keeps him doing his best work everyday.

Even with the extreme commitment of his family's beet farm, Kelani always makes time for his job. His relationship with Olivia is full of pranks and stupid jokes, which keeps the office on their toes.

Olivia Foley

Olivia is a very hard worker when he is not messing with Kelani. He is married to Pam, the receptionist, and they have a baby named Cece.

His extreme patience with Kelani is amazing. Despite Kelani always needing to be right and in charge, Oli seems to stay calm through all of it.